Date:	2006-04-22 21:36
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	content

( Private to Kratos. )

Date:	2006-04-09 19:23
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	moody

( Private. )


Ugh. This house is too empty, and I'm sick of it. I am going to go for a walk. A long one. If anyone needs me, leave a message and maybe I'll get back to you.

Date:	2006-02-28 21:16
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	worried

He's gone. But at least he left a note.

Yuan,

Thank you for all you have done. I need some time alone to work things out. Don't worry about me.

Botta

I've never before felt trapped in my own home. Not so much by people, but by circumstance.

( Private )

Despite our taciturn existence, none of us has attempted to leave.

Date:	2005-10-11 13:48
Subject:	I find myself...somewhat bored
Security:	Public
Mood:	disappointed

Things are almost eerily quiet round here, again. After the flurry of excitement with Kratos (*sigh*) and finding Botta, I was expecting a somewhat more interesting existence. But now Kratos has left to mull things over and, I think, to spend time with his son. I wonder how that's going (*smirk*). I can't say I'm surprised that Mithos (or Yggdrasill, should I say) revealed to Lloyd part of their torrid history, not considering Yggdrasill's behaviour when Kratos was involved with Anna. Lloyd's such a forgiving fool, though, I doubt it will leave a mark on their erstwhile father-son relationship. (More's the pity.) Still, I'm not sure I would want certain people knowing about my own...ah, never mind.

I fear Mithos may be hanging on to his existence by a mere thread. The Yggdrasill persona appears to be taking over more and more frequently of late, and any hope I had of him returning completely to his former self is fading fast. I can't say I understand why Kratos always believed there was hope for Mithos, why he never accepted the truth, as I did. Perhaps, if he had, he wouldn't be in the situation he is in, now. Perhaps he would still be here....

But Botta is here...in body, at least. There's still so much about this that I can't get my head around, and I dare say he can't either, but his reluctance to resolve the situation doesn't seem like the Botta I used to know. Maybe something in him has changed. I know we never found it easy to open up about...personal matters...but things are different, now. There's no need for hiding anymore, nothing else at stake. At least, I don't think there is.

Date:	2005-09-29 21:29
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused

Honestly, I'm out of the loop for a few months and the world goes mad. (Not that the world hasn't been mad for the last 4000 years, but...well...yeah.)

Someone is raised from the dead (after he had accepted his fate), someone close to me does two one-eighties regarding...well, that's private. Pronyma's being...nice. *shudder* And to top it off, there's an under-age wedding on the cards! Well, at least Mithos is feeling better about himself.

Why didn't Kratos tell me about the wedding? And where is he?

Date:	2005-07-24 11:11
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	shocked

( Private, to self )

Date:	2005-07-23 23:51
Subject:	It should have been obvious....
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted, sated, happy, loved

[Public]

When Mana told me that Martel wanted me to move on I wondered how that would ever be possible. Even though it assuaged the guilt I had been carrying, not only from the decision to prevent Mithos resurrecting Martel, but also from the feelings I had developed for another, that person was gone.

I never believed I would love again, nor allow myself to love again.

( Private, to self )

[Public]

Wait a minute.... What has Mana been up to?

Date:	2005-07-14 20:46
Subject:	It's so different....
Security:	Public
Mood:	loved
Music:	Kratos's heartbeat

( Private to self )

*Kratos cries out in his sleep*

Date:	2005-06-28 23:15
Subject:	How unusual....
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper

*plumps up the pillows on the midnight blue satin-sheeted spare bed*

( Private to self )

Date:	2005-06-28 14:04
Subject:	King of DIY
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished
Music:	Complete and utter silence

Curse that woman. Such ridiculous delusions of grandeur. Let her concern me no longer.

It feels strange not to have written in this journal for so long. Back on the surface there was much to think about and plan. But my truce with Mithos after his decision to leave Martel be has brought me back to this cold, lifeless domain.

I had already read every book in the Vinheim library and studied every entry in the Cruxis Core database (of course) and, frankly, there is little more to do up here.

I decided to give the house a spring-clean, seeing as it has been virtually uninhabited for the last 500 years, and while I was at it, I decided to add a lick of paint, to try to add some colour. Not that there is much light in here to reflect said colour, but it's better than nothing. I'm particularly happy with the bathroom, which I have completely remodelled. There's a certain someone I'd like to show it to.

Speaking of which, where is everyone? Everyone being Mithos and Kratos. The Grand Cardinals can go jump off the top of the Tower of Salvation, for all I care. Strange, and sad, how the sole inhabitants of such an empty place can succeed in avoiding one another so earnestly. It's time to mend those bridges.

But first I think I'll tackle that large pile of unopened mail sitting in the hallway....

Date:	2005-04-11 14:39
Subject:	LIVE REPORT FROM DERRIS-KHARLAN
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic

Ahh.... finally some time to myself.

*sits*

*stares at wall*

It used to be so much more... interesting up here, with Mithos and Kratos to entertain me...

I suddenly wish they were here.